I Wouldn't Have Nothing If I Didn't Have You
by swagUPwindowsDOWN
Summary: You and me together, that's how it always should be, one without the other, don't mean nothing to me, nothing to me. Kendall wouldn't be nothing without his little boy, but suddenly, that vision might have to become reality. Kendall won't give up on him. But, if he these are his last days, he wants to give him everything he's always wanted, and with James and Carlos' help, he does.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! I'm back and with a new story! This also means that me and EmilyHenderson99 will start to write Taking Him In again and also that me and Lunachu will start writing Heaven Help Me. I am glad to be writing again, even though it's been only about two weeks, you don't know how grateful I am to be out of that dreaded place. Well, I'll have to go back regularly for treatment, but I can live normally again. It was truly hectic. But now, I've come back with this whole new story idea and I really want to make this one a proper, long novel. I'm going to take my time with this and update when I can so that it's the best quality I can produce. I hope you like this and want to keep reading. Chapter one will be the next update, this is the prologue. **

**I don't own Big Time Rush.**

**Enjoy :)**

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Kendall watched as his precious little boy slept peacefully. The past few days had been hectic. Everything had been fine at first. His son was thriving at school, now in first grade and already knowing way more than the average 5 year old. His job, working as a hockey coach at a school, had flexible hours so that he was always at home with him for as much as possible. James and Carlos came round often, each only living a few streets away and always wanting to see the rest of their family. They loved their little nephew to bits; Kendall might even go as far as to say they spoil him rotten. But he knows that without his two best friends since birth, he wouldn't have made it through the last few years.

They helped him when the love of his life, Jo Taylor, sadly passed away due to a horrific car crash. The drunk driver that had hit her vehicle head on now walked free, without even a flash of remorse. Kendall knew that he wouldn't have made it without James and Carlos. His small son had only been 4 years old. He couldn't understand that his mommy had died. All he knew was that she wasn't there to tuck him in at night or to pick him up after school. She didn't make him meals anymore and he couldn't smell any brownies being baked. She wasn't in the house or the neighbourhood or even at school. His daddy now did all the things she did. Kendall had explained, one night, how that she was an angel in heaven now and that she would always be looking down on them. Kendall himself had never felt so empty. But he had a little one relying on him, depending on him. He couldn't let him down. So, he pulled his head out of the gutter and started to organise his life. And now, 2 years down the line, everything seemed to finally be alright again.

It was about a month ago, early September and only two weeks into the school year starting, that Kendall got a call from the little boy's school saying he was sick and needed to come home. He rushed over and picked up the poorly boy, bringing him home and tucking him into bed. He had a fever and had thrown up at school. But, soon enough, he was back at school and running around with his friends like nothing had happened. Kendall put it down to that virus that had been going around, nothing that a little TLC and medicine couldn't fix.

There was another time where something hadn't seemed too right. The little guy had slept from 7:30 on a Friday night and was still asleep by Saturday lunchtime. This may have not been strange to some, but for Kendall, who knew how his son would always get up bright and early, it was quite worrying. When Kendall finally decided he should wake the 6 year old up and see if he was alright, the only thing that looked slightly odd was the big, dark bags under the child's eyes.

"I'm tired daddy" he had told him. Kendall felt his forehead, but found no fever and so let him sleep until late afternoon, when he had literally had to drag the boy out of bed. They had eaten a big dinner, to make up for missing breakfast and lunch and then they sat down together on the sofa, ready to watch The Lion King.

It was a few weeks later when Kendall had taken him to the doctor. Kendall had just finished work, ready to go to the elementary school to pick up his little boy. When he wandered into the school, he immediately went to the 1st grade classroom, waiting outside and chatting with the other parents. When the little kids ran out to greet their parents, his son was led out by his teacher. Kendall spotted the big bandage on his little bony arm.

"He just got pushed when he was playing tag, that's all. You know how those boys play. We put an ice pack on it and we've just taken it off. He'll be fine" the teacher smiled, reassuring the young father. She knew of all the things that had happened in their family life and she was very impressed with how well they had been able to keep it together for the little boy's sake. Kendall walked home with his son, listening to all the stories of his school day. When they had gotten home, Kendall took the bandage off to see how much damage had been done. He was expecting a small cut, maybe some grazes, but the sight in front of him certainly didn't match that. Gigantic purple and blue splotches lined the little forearm, making Kendall question just how much of a fall his son had taken. But when he had been assured that "I only got bumped into daddy", his mind began to wonder why such a small thing had left so many marks. And the next morning, when the youngster had woken up with even more bruises, Kendall had taken him to get him checked out. When the doctor had seen the bruising, he had ordered some tests, just as a precaution and told Kendall to make sure the boy was careful for the moment. They had gone back home and not really worried about it as the bruising went away.

Then, just a week after, Kendall found himself in the back of ambulance, gripping onto his son's small hand. The boy had suddenly collapsed without any warning and Kendall couldn't have been more frightened. It was a Thursday morning, the father and son were busy rushing around getting ready for work and school. The little one of the two had been taking longer than usual and Kendall went in to check on him. The sight of his son sprawled out on his bedroom floor, gorgeous brown eyes hidden beneath the closed eyelids, made Kendall's heart rip out of his chest. All that could be heard was the little boy's harsh and ragged breathing, to match his father's quick and panicked breaths. He had knelt down, only just remembering his first aid training and after ringing the ambulance, sat holding his son's hand. He prayed and he wished and soon the paramedics put the little form on a gurney and wheeled him out, the dad trailing behind holding onto a one armed, one eyed teddy that was his little boy's favourite.

They were rushed to hospital and when he woke up, Kendall went into his son's hospital room, smiling when the chocolate brown eyes that had been lifelessly closed just minutes earlier, gazed back at him. After some time, a doctor beckoned him out of the room. They sat down outside and Kendall put his full attention on the man before him.

"Hello, I am Dr. White and I am in charge of your son's case." He started off, shaking Kendall's hand.

"What's wrong with him?" Kendall was shaking, his leg bouncing up and down in apprehension. The doctor sighed. He had been doing this job for 10 years and it never got any easier.

"When your son was brought in, we ran some tests and chased up the results of the tests taken a week ago. I understand he experienced a large amount of bruising for a minor abrasion." Kendall nodded, waiting for him to go on. The doctor ran a hand through his greying hair, sighing again.

"I'm afraid the results show that your son has an increased amount of abnormal white blood cells in his bone marrow. I'm sorry, but it looks like he has a form of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. We'll need to start treatment right away, but I must warn you, this has been developing for a while. He'll receive treatment but what he really needs is a bone marrow transplant as soon as possible. He's on the waiting list, but I suggest that you make sure that everything he wants to do is done. I am truly sorry, I have to go, but I'll be back later to discuss treatment." The doctor gave the young dad a small squeeze to the shoulder and left. Kendall couldn't process what he had just heard. His son, his little boy...has leukemia. He brought one of the shaking hands to his eyes, brushing the tears away that threatened to fall. One single word left his trembling lips.

"Logan."

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**So, what did you think? Was it good? Should I continue it? I haven't decided whether this story will have a happy or sad ending yet, so keep reading. As I said I want to make this some of my best work, so bare with me on updates and I'll try to update when I can. I really want to know if you liked it and if it's worth it to keep writing. So, please review and tell me what you think!**

**Thank you! :) xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Ok, so I know this update is looooong overdue and that you're probably really annoyed at me for not posting any more for over a week! I can only say that I've been extremely busy, I've had barely any time to write. School is hectic at the moment, I've got several exams that count towards my GCSEs (if you don't know what they are, they're like UK exams to get you qualifications and jobs). I've been having lots of hospital trips for treatment and my brother's birthday was on Monday, so I really haven't been able to write. I'm soooo sorry and I hope that this chapter helps to get you lot to forgive me. I'll try to update more, I promise! I'm back in hospital, but luckily I have my laptop, so I can write, so hopefully I can get a lot of writing done!**

**Thank you to all of the AMAZING people that reviewed, favourited and followed this story, without your support I wouldn't be able to continue writing...anything. I've been feeling really down lately because of everything with mine and my sister's health right now, but your comments make it all worth while and I can smile again when I read them. Thank you all so much for that :)**

**I do not own big time rush in any way, unfortunately ;)**

**I hope you like this and that it makes up for not updating sooner! :)**

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Steeling himself against the blockade of tears that were determined to fall, Kendall decided he should face his son. He stood on wobbling legs as he finally managed to get them to work and walk towards the 5 year olds room. He took several deep breaths and once again had to stop as three tears made their way out. He was a dad. Dads weren't meant to cry. So, with that going round and round in his mind like a carousel, he pushed open the door. Inside, the little boy sat up and grinned, showing off an array of dimples. Kendall tried to smile back, but could tell he failed miserably. He sat down, running a hand through his already messed up hair and sighed.

"What's wrong daddy?" the little boy asked, confused as to why Kendall was acting strange and hadn't greeted him straight away.

"Nothing Logan, nothing's wrong" Kendall replied, re-attempting his shaky smile to calm his worried son. Logan frowned and put his hands firmly on his hips, mimicking an angry mother. If it had been a normal day, Kendall would have laughed.

"You're lying" Logan said accusingly. His frown was then exchanged for a worried and almost scared countenance. "Am I sick daddy?" he asked quietly. Kendall looked up into those chocolate brown orbs. He knew he couldn't hide the truth from him.

"Yeah buddy, you are. But, with the doctor's medicine and then an operation, you'll be ok" Kendall answered. Logan nodded a thoughtful look on his face.

"I think I would like it in heaven with mommy if I had to go."

Kendall's head shot up from where he had been studying the floor. That sentence was so out of the blue that it knocked him back slightly. How much did Logan know? Why was he thinking like that? Kendall almost started panicking that his 5 year old son was thinking about what would happen if he died. But instead he tried to see why Logan had said that in the first place.

"Logan...why did you say that? You're not going to go to heaven any time soon." He said to reassure himself as well as Logan. He wasn't sure who needed it more.

"Because" Logan started "I heard you and the nice doctor talking" he shrunk back into his pillows with a look of shame on his face. "I know I should have stayed in bed, but I wanted know what was wrong." He stopped to gauge Kendall's reaction. "I'm sorry daddy, I didn't mean too. Am I going to be in trouble now?" he asked meekly.

Kendall sighed; it felt as if that's all he had been doing lately. "You're not in trouble, Logan. I'm not mad, I promise." He took a deep breath. "But, what I said before is true, buddy. You're not going to heaven; you're going to get all better. I'll make sure of it."

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Kendall looked up from where he was sitting outside the hospital room, as two voices could be heard shouting out to him.

"Kendall! Kendall!" James called, in a panicked tone. Kendall mentally slapped himself. When he had called his two best friends since his younger years earlier, he hadn't explained to them exactly why they were in the hospital. He just remembered telling them to get there now because Logan had been rushed in. He should have told them that Logan wasn't actually dying or dead. A horrible, fleeting thought crossed his mind, so awful that he had to take a deep breath. Logan wasn't dead..._yet._ The young father, who had possibly aged ten years in the last hour, shook his head. Logan wasn't going to die. He was going to get treatment and he_ was_ going to live. He opened his eyes, which seemed to have been squeezed shut, to see two men before him. Man had they all grown up in the last few years.

"Kendall! What's happened? How's Logan? Is he ok? Kendall!" Carlos cried, waving his arms frantically. He and James bored into Kendall's eyes, trying to find any answer from the unresponsive blonde.

"He's ok...for now." Kendall finally managed to get his mouth to work again. He sighed as they all took a seat. "You know about the all the stuff that's happened in the past few months, the sickness bug he got, the sleeping for hours on end, the bruising..." Kendall watched as the other two nodded slowly. "Well...today we were getting ready and he came down and he-he collapsed. I rung 911 and they brought him straight here and they ran some tests." He stopped abruptly, rolling his eyes to the ceiling to try and hold back more tears.

"What were the tests for? Did they show anything?" James barrelled questions at him, ten to the dozen.

"Leukaemia."

"What?" Carlos choked out. He didn't want to believe the whispered word that was just barely audible.

"Logan has Leukaemia..." Kendall realised as he said it out loud, it only made it worse. Before, he hadn't really believed it. Time had seemed to slow down altogether and merged into one big blur. Now that they were actually talking about it, it became the reality. James and Carlos watched as their best friend crumbled. He burst into sobs, falling to his knees wailing. The two bent down and led Kendall over to at set of secluded chairs. They sat there, just holding each other as they cried. Crying because the little boy that deserved the best had been given a disease that was so horribly uncertain. Crying because no one knew what the outcome would be. Crying because they didn't want Logan to...die.

"W-where is he now?" Carlos uttered once they had all sobered up slightly.

"He's in there. He woke up and I wasn't going to tell him, but he overheard me and the doctor. He knows he's sick and that the doctors are gonna give him medicIne and eventually have an operation." Kendall paused, debating whether he should tell James and Carlos what Logan had talked about with him. "He told me he would like heaven if he died. With Jo."  
The two could only blink and stare wide eyed in response.

"W-what? Why?..." James couldn't think of anything better to say. Kendall chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah, I know. A 5 year old is talking about dying. He should only be worrying about what he wants for dinner, yet look where we are."

"Kendall, he's going to pull through, we're all going to help and support him through this." Carlos said, placing a hand on Kendall's shoulder. Kendall gave him a nod and finally pulled his lips up into a small smile. As long as they were together, they could get through this.

"Is he ok? Why are you out here?" James asked with worry.

"The doctors wanted to do some more tests or whatever. They gave him something to make him sleep so that he wouldn't get scared or upset. They shouldn't be too much longer."

Just as Kendall spoke to his friends, Dr. White exited the room, saying thank you to two nurses as they walked off down the corridor. He smiled kindly at the newcomers and sat in front of them all.

"Hello, gentlemen, I am Dr. White, are you relatives or friends?"

"Friends and relatives. We're practically brothers and Logan's as good as our nephew." James answered without hesitation. "I'm James, that's Carlos." The doctor smiled again.

"Good, Logan will need as much support as he can get during this tough time and I'm sure you're the best people for the job. I was actually coming to talk to you about treatment, if that's ok? The sooner we can get started, the better." Kendall took a calming breath.

"I'd like to go with the chemotherapy. It seems like the most reasonable option." Earlier, the doctor had given Kendall a few leaflets on different treatment options. From what he had read, chemotherapy was the most common used and held less risk of death. Not to say it always worked though. With all of the options, there had been masses of fatalities. Kendall wanted a treatment method for Logan that could work and since chemotherapy was the most used, it seemed sensible to go with that.

"Are you sure you don't want to think it over some more, talk to James and Carlos about it?" the doctor questioned.

Kendall shook his head firmly. "I've made my decision." The doctor looked to the others before he nodded to the young father.

"Very well. Since Logan has just been brought in today, I would like to give him 2 days rest before we start the treatment. You realize there are side effects though?"

"Yes" Kendall replied simply.

"What are they?" Carlos asked almost in fear. He didn't want to see Logan suffer too much. He was only a little kid.

"Chemo can affect different people in different ways, although the most common side effects are fatigue, severe nausea and hair loss. There is no way of telling just how much these will affect Logan, because as I said, it works differently with different people."

James absent-mindedly ran his hand over the small bump in his pocket. His lucky comb. He had possessed one ever since grade school and for some reason, the comb was dubbed as lucky. His current lucky comb, was from Logan himself. Kendall had told him how Logan had saved up all of his pocket money to get it for him. James always ran it through his hair, making sure he stayed looking perfect and sometimes would even style Logan's hair for him. He grew guilty at the thought of being able to have hair, whilst Logan's grew thin and fell out.

"All the tests we have taken are done; you may go in and see him now. He should be waking up shortly. You can stay in the hospital with him, usually I  
don't allow this, but since he is so young, for Logan I will. I shall be back later to check up on him." the doctor said his goodbyes and the three got up, pushing the door open and stepping inside.

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Carlos gasped at seeing the little boy looking so small and fragile in the massive hospital bed. He was hooked up to an IV, the tube sinking down under a white sticky bandage just above his wrist and disappearing into his arm. A beeping sound came from the heart monitor, showing the steady rise and fall of a green line. What got to Carlos was that Logan looked so pale. If it wasn't for his chest moving in the easy, regular motion, he would have thought Logan was much worse off. They all silently pulled up chairs alongside Logan and Kendall grasped the small, unmoving hand. He kissed the little finger one by one. Soon after, Logan's eyes stated to flutter before slowly prying themselves apart.

"Hey Logie" Kendall greeted softly, stroking back the luscious brown locks. When Logan had been born, he had a full head of hair already. The only wonder was how it came to be dark, dark brown when both of his parents were blonde. It just went to show how unique Logan really was.

"Uncle James! Uncle Carlos!" Logan squealed as he eagerly sat up and accepted hugs from both men. "You came!" he added, bouncing in place. Sometimes, Logan could be just as hyper as Carlos was when he was younger. No, as hyper as Carlos _still _was.

"Of course we came! We're going to be here for everything." James said, knowing he didn't need to ask Carlos and that the Latino was already planning on doing just that.

"How are you feeling, Logie?" Carlos asked, looking over all the machines like he would be able to understand them. It was a puzzle to him and he figured that if something were really wrong, they'd make some sort of warning sound.

"I'm great! You're here now and that means it's even better! Daddy's been worrying a lot." Logan replied with a small frown.

"Well, he's just worried about you. We all are." James informed the small boy.

"But I'm ok." there was confusion in his voice. "I might be sick, but daddy said the doctors will give me medicine and then an oppyraton to make me better." The grown men couldn't help but smile at his adorableness. "And I feel fine now."

"Well, daddy's just being silly, isn't he?" Kendall spoke. The question was meant to be rhetorical but Logan still nodded.

"There's no need to be worried daddy. I'm going to fine."

And Kendall held onto that like a lifeline.

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**So how'd you like it? Was it good enough and did it make up for not updating? I can only hope that it was. I'm going to start writing the next chapter right now, so hopefully it can be updated quicker. I'm sooo sorry again and I really hope the wait was worth at least something. I know I've probably let you all down and I feel so guilty. My friends and my friends on here have started to ignore me for some reason and I can only think that it's because of someting I've done or said or because of how bad I am at updating. I hope that you don't feel the same way and if you do I'm truly sorry.**

**Like I said, reviews are a chance for me to be able to smile again. I love reading them and they cheer me up so much, not just to know that you like my work, but also because you like ME enough to read my stories. For that I am truly grateful. So, please please please could I ask you to review this chapter? I would love to know what you thought of it and if it was worth it. I'm seriously debating on whether I should continue writing on here, but I really don't know what I should do. So, if you can review, that would be soooo nice.**

**Thank you all so much,**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN (a.k.a Sarah) :) xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, so I'm not sure if I am successfully reaching my target of updating quicker than last time or not, but I'm pretty happy about this chapter. I've decided I will keep on going with this story, since all of you kind reviewers mentioned how much you love it. I'm officially on half term now and have a 10 days off from school! WOOHOO! That means I can focus more on writing and updating (she says hopefully). So, you may see this story updated sooner. But, like always, I can't guarantee it. I will try!**

**Thank you to all of those wonderful people who have followed, favourited and reviewed this story! It really is nice to see how much you like it! **

**Just a few replies to some of the reviewers (sorry if I haven't replied to you, I could only mention a few so the AN isn't too long!) :**

**Victory4Zim - You think I'm amazing? Wow! Thanks so much! :D**

**WOWcow - Logie needs you too! Thanks for understanding so much. I hope you like this chapter! :)**

**SaltTahneeBran - Yes, the title is from Monsters Inc. I thought it was such a cute song and it really suited this story. Trust me, I went through a lot of names before I came up with that one. Good job spotting that! :D**

**Guest - I'm sorry you're lost! This is a bit confusing. In this story, Logan is Kendall's 5 year old son, not the same age or friend of the boys and Big Time Rush doesn't exist. Logan isn't named after the real Logan as the real Logan is Kendall's son. Logan unfortunately won't come back, but that's a great idea. Maybe I could use that in a different story :)**

**Numerous Guests - Thanks for reviewing, glad you like the story so far! :D**

**And finally to the wonderful EmilyHenderson99 - Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad that you crying on the school bus was all down to my story haha. I'm glad we're now writing together again and you're twitter now works again! Yay! You're like my sister on here or wife, whatever you wanna be, and I've even made you a small character in the story. Just read it to find out! :D**

**Well, I hope you guys like this!**

**I don't own Big Time Rush ;)**

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Kendall's jaw cracked painfully as his eyes blinked open. He began to wonder where he was, until he took in the white walls and the white bed. The memories of last night came flooding back, something Kendall wished was just a dream. In his groggy state, it took him a while to properly assess his surroundings and when he looked back at the white bed, with Logan's stuffed elephant strewn across the covers, he realised something that made him panic. Nothing in the room had changed from last night except the bed. The empty bed. He became wide awake as he shot up in the uncomfortable hospital chair, looking around for the little boy that had occupied it last night. He had no idea where he could have gone to. He, James and Carlos stayed up into the wee early hours of the morning to make sure Logan was ok, before finally succumbing to sleep themselves. He took to his feet and immediately barged into the hospital room's bathroom, checking to see if something had happened to Logan in there. The little boy may have used the bathroom in the night. Even though Kendall wanted to find his son, he hoped he wouldn't see Logan lying on the bathroom tiles, lifeless and pale. He didn't quite know if he was happy or not when he found the bathroom to hold no people, big or small.

"Logan?" he called. He didn't know if the 5 year old was still in the room and it was worth a chance. "Logan? Logan!" he shouted, getting more frantic as no answer was given. The desperate calls of their best friend woke James and Carlos, both wondering what all the commotion was about. They too had been sleeping round Logan's bed in the plastic chairs that would sure send them back to the hospital with back problems when they were older. They glanced at each other when they noticed no sign of Logan and hurried over to the bathroom to see what was happening.

"Kendall? What's happened? Where's Logan?" James asked as the father ran out, checking behind the curtains and under the bed.

"I don't know! He was here last night and now he's not! Oh god, what if something really bad has happened to him? What if someone-"

"Kendall! Don't panic, I'm sure there's a reason why he's not here. Maybe he did need to go to the bathroom, but didn't know there was one in here. He could have gone to the one down the hall" Carlos reasoned, trying to calm the panicking blonde.

"Yeah, maybe he's there. I'll go check" he ran off, out of the room, leaving Carlos and James to research the room they were in. Kendall came back only a few minutes later, looking worse than when he left.

"He's not there! And the nurses on the ward haven't seen him. What if he's hurt? I should have been looking out for him, I'm such a bad dad" Kendall told them, gripping his hair as he plonked down on the bed.

"Kendall, you're not a bad dad, the greatest one I've ever seen. This wasn't your fault. Kendall, he probably just went looking for something." Carlos replied, sitting next to him.

"Yeah, have you seen how well that boy has grown up the last 5 years? He's clever, he's funny, and he's always smiling...Kendall, that's all down to you. Don't beat yourself up bro" James added, patting Kendall on the shoulder. The latter sighed and he looked slightly more at ease.

"Yeah, I just wish I knew where he went" Kendall replied.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and Dr. White came in, smiling as usual, followed by a nurse carrying a small boy on her hip.

"Logan!" The three men in the room cried as they saw him. Kendall rushed over and took the sleepy boy from the nurse, whose name tag read Emily. Kendall hugged the little boy to his chest as he asked the doctors:

"Where'd you find him?"

Emily smiled as she watched the young dad hug his son.

"I was doing my early morning rounds when I saw this little guy wandering around alone. I went up to him and he was sleep walking, so I lifted him up and took him back to the nurse's desk to see where he came from. He woke up on the way there and I and he had a conversation. All he could say was how he was sure his daddy was going to be mad at him from walking out. I said you wouldn't and whilst we were waiting to find out which room, I showed him some of the things we use. He really liked the stethoscope, he listened to mine and all of my colleagues' heart beats."

Kendall chuckled. Logan had always been interest in doctor stuff. Ever since Kendall had bought him a toy doctor set for Christmas 2 years ago, he loved going round and wrapping people up in bandages or giving them fake medicine for their boo boo's. Kendall would often find Logan playing doctor with his teddies. Too bad Logan had to be the patient for real this time.

"Then Dr. White passed by and he said he was Logan's doctor, so we started to come back here. Logan must've had a lot of fun, sleepwalking and listening to heart beats is really tiring for a little boy like him. He was almost asleep by the time we got here." She finished. All of the people in the room looked down to Logan in Kendall's arms.

"You tired buddy?" Kendall asked softly. Logan nodded, trying to snuggle even further into his daddy's arms. Kendall walked over to the bed, gently placing Logan in it and pulling up the covers. The small boy was out like a light, eyes immediately closing and breaths evening out.

"Thank you so much. We didn't know where he went" James thanked the doctor and Emily.

"Really, it was no problem. I've got to go, but I'll come back to check on him. I might even change my rota with some of my friends so that I can look after the little cutie all the time. I'll see you soon" they watched as she left.

"She's really nice." Carlos said, watching as the others nodded in agreement.

"She's one of the best we've got, lovely girl" Dr. White said. He looked at them, all of a sudden turning serious. "Kendall, I was just wondering if you had considered what I said when he was first diagnosed?"

Kendall at first was confused, he couldn't remember what had happened, it was just one big blur that seemed like it happened years ago, not just a day.

"I can give you numbers of some charities and organisations. Personally, I find the best to be Make A Wish, but I have plenty-"

"We don't need any of that" Kendall replied, his face hardened. James and Carlos hadn't been told about this, so listened intently.

"Kendall, I know you don't want to face the possibility of Logan not making it through this, but you have to think about it. If Logan were to suddenly take a turn for the worse, then you may not have time to-"

Kendall continued to interrupt him. "Logan will be fine. He doesn't need any of your fancy charities or organisations. He'll have the treatment and get his strength up for the operation. He'll get all better and we _won't _have to go to those stupid people who'll just treat Logan like another case." Kendall raised his voice at the kind doctor. Really, he didn't want to, but how would he see that Logan didn't need them and that he was going to be fine.

"Kendall, I know you want that to happen-"

"It will. Now, unless you have to check on Logan, you can leave" he pointed to the door. Dr. White looked like he was going to protest, but decided that he had put his opinion forward and Kendall wouldn't listen to it, even if Logan was on the verge of dying.

Once the door was closed, Kendall went back over to his seat beside Logan and sat down. James and Carlos were both thinking the same thing and each resumed their seats next to the blonde.

"Kendall" James spoke, setting a hand on the subject's back. "Maybe we should contact some of those people. The doctor knows what he's talking about." He winced slightly when he saw the look on the blonde's face.

"Really? James, you're siding with _him!_" Kendall asked incredulously.

"No, I'm not siding with anyone. This isn't a competition or a fight, Kendall. It's Logan's happiness and personally, I agree that he should do everything he wants to...just in case." He said softly, trying to not to make it sound as harsh as it could have been.

"Kendall, you've got to actually realise that Logan is really sick. Yeah, we all want him to get better and we all believe that he could. But, there's always a chance that...that he might not be ok. And we have to make sure that if he isn't, he's had a great time." Carlos added, not bringing himself to say if Logan actually died. He may be thinking about if he did, but he couldn't say it. Not properly.

"But...he has to be! He's only 5! He's only lived 5 years of his life and he's got so much to do. He started on the pee-wee hockey team last week and gave his little friend, you know Scotty, a Bob the Builder band aid when he fell on the ice. And you know what he told me?"

James and Carlos could see tears in his green eyes.

"He said that when he gets older, he can't decide if he wants to be a hockey player or a doctor. So he said that he would be both. He'd play on a professional hockey team and when his team mates got hurt he would make them better. If he doesn't get better, he won't ever get to do that" Kendal put his head in his hands, being mindful of his son who was still sleeping.

"And he'll probably still be able to do that. But if something happens and we haven't made sure he's done everything he wants to, then all of us will feel guilty." James said the thing that Kendall knew was true, but he just wouldn't face.

"I know. I just...it's hard. And if we went to a charity or organisation..." he trailed off, not willing to say what he was thinking.

"Yeah?" Carlos prompted.

"They might not do it in time."

It was silent for a few minutes, as James and Carlos realised what Kendall said could be true. They could organise for Logan to do something with a certain charity, but he might be made to wait and they couldn't guarantee how much time Logan did have.

"Then we'll do it ourselves" James spoke suddenly, an idea coming to him. "We'll give Logan everything he's ever wanted. We'll take him places, give him things...he'll love it! And we won't have to wait!" he exclaimed.

"What about how much that will all cost?" Carlos asked.

"We'll find it somehow. And if we don't have enough, I'm sure my mom won't mind helping us out" Kendall said. This could just work.

"Yeah and my parents will sure want to pitch in!" Carlos proclaimed.

"And mine! And then there are all kinds of other people that might want to help. We can actually do this!" James replied.

"We can do it when he's not in for chemo. I'm sure the school won't mind him not being in much. We just have to think about what to do." Kendall thought aloud.

"What has he said he wants to do recently? Or what he wants to have? Or what he's always wanted to do, but you never could? And then, we could think up other things to surprise him!" Carlos said, getting excited.

"Well, there are a few things." Kendall told them vaguely.

"Right then" James got out a notepad and pen. "Let's think about this...what to give a kid that deserves everything in the whole wide world?"

* * *

**There you are! I hope you all liked this chapter! As many writers on here know, reviews are like gold to us. I would love to know what you think of it, so please review, even if it's just a few words! Next chapter, I'll reply to some of you again :) **

**Once again, I hope you liked it and I'll try to update soon! **

**See you next chapter!**

**~swagUPwindowsDOWN :) xoxoxo**


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